Tracey Ullman in Esquire!

Thanks to Showtimefan!

Funnywoman Tracey Ullman gives the male readers of Esquire “10 Things You Don’t Know About Women” in the March issue. Here’s what she had to say:

1. On being asked to write a piece such as this, our thoughts immediately become lewd. Hence…

2. The Hitachi Magic Wand is rarely used on the shoulder muscle while gazing wistfully into the distance like the model on the box.

3. We don’t envy the woman in the Cialis ad. What’s in it for her over the next thirty-six hours? Cystitis, probably.

4. Thongs hurt, and your bum digests them.

5. Equality will be achieved when we see David Duchovny’s knob on Californication.

6. We hate the smell of Axe.

7. We really don’t find farting funny.

8. We’d rather you fart than wear Axe.

9. We know that, in the main, men are funnier than women.

10. And we can pee standing up.

Trace looks fabulous in the pic that accompanies the story (Sadly, I can’t find a full-frame one to post here). She’s all glammed up in a black strapless dress and fierce red patent leather shoes. Not being a fashionista, I have no idea if her pumps are Manolos, Louboutins or Jimmy Choos, but they look amazing.

Keep an eye out for her in more glossy magazines as we get closer to the State of the Union premiere next month.